Do Negative Thoughts Haunt You and Shape Your Reality?

How to stop negativity from dominating your daily thoughts By Merilee Kern, MBA

We’ve all been there; mired in the throes of pessimism and negative thoughts when life just doesn’t seem to be going our way. For the lucky ones, this entirely natural—though disconcerting—feeling ebbs and flows, ultimately dissolving into a more balanced, healthier state of mind. For hapless others, the extreme negative thoughts and ideation can overwhelm—even becoming “who they are.” At worst, it can be deadly, as one peer-reviewed study found that “people who are strongly pessimistic about the future are at greater risk of dying earlier than those who are not pessimists.

“It turns out that we might be built for negativity, making us our own worst enemy.”

This, as other research, casts doubt on so-called “optimism bias,” debunking the notion that people inherently “see” life “through rose-tinted glasses.” Unfortunate opportunity loss, as another study found optimism to be associated with “exceptional longevity.”

Negative thoughts and chronic pessimism can stem from many things far beyond the stressors we’re living in the moment, including self-destructive patterns and even unresolved childhood experiences and traumas that evolve to inform perceptions and impede personal growth.

Jaime B. Haas, there are numerous reasons why you can’t stop thinking negative thoughts about who you are, your ability to get what you want out of life and how capable you are at achieving your goals. Haas’ top 4 are as follows:

1. Fears or Limiting BeliefsFears or limiting beliefs keep you stuck. To kick off the work, you will need to identify and then reprogram any existing negative belief patterns by replacing them with positive and affirming thoughts and actions. You’ll also be challenged to stop listening to the voices in your head telling you the lies about yourself and leading to your misperception of the world. It is about reprogramming your mind for the better by thinking and behaving in ways that create a more positive, loving way of seeing yourself and the world. In other words, do you build yourself up, or beat yourself up? When you detach from negative thoughts, you will be able to cultivate more joy, envision more, or greater, possibilities for your life and be more present. It all starts with making small changes, such as in the way you talk to yourself and what you were taught to believe.
2. Negative Manifestation Compulsion (NMC)

Do you constantly criticize or judge yourself, or others? If you were raised in a household where finding fault was common behaviour, your brain was likely programmed to interpret your negative thoughts as literal truths. When you begin to question the source of these false “truths,” you begin to engage in rituals, behaviours, and actions to create a different experience.

“The transformation begins when you take positive action to stop living in old, critical belief systems,” Haas said. “My method helps you address the reasons why you might be holding on to negative thoughts. You will learn how to unpack them, which involves choosing to replace them with new, positive thoughts, reciting affirmations that resonate with your new experience and showing up differently in your life.”

3. Your Perception of Self

If you are very harsh on yourself and focus on all your missed opportunities, weaknesses and perceived flaws, you’re not alone. Research shows that struggling with, arguing with, and trying to drown out or push away negative thoughts about yourself only amplifies the problems and makes it worse. The dilemma is not that we have negative thoughts, it comes when we begin to believe those thoughts and cannot evolve. It’s about building self-love from within.

“It’s a multi-faceted process that involves finding your feelings, affirming the good about yourself, practising meditation and self-care, showing up present, authentic and honest in your life and doing more things that bring you joy,” Haas said. “There is no quick fix or magic bullet. It is a holistic set of actions.”

4. Focusing on the Outside to Fix the Inside

“You are the greatest project you’ll ever work on,” Haas said. “But if you’ve done everything to change the outside from pursuing a degree, changing jobs and relocating to a new city; to fixing your body or changing your wardrobe, and you still haven’t gotten what you want in life, that means it’s time to look inward.”

When we seek external sources to validate our sense of self, we empower that thing or person outside to be the source of our identity and well-being.

The work is about discovering, nurturing, and excavating our well-being from within.

“When we give all our power to other people to make us feel better about ourselves, we will never feel OK on our own,” Haas said. “We begin to crave that hit to fix us, or that crumb of love, attention or affection to actually feed us, but it’s just a temporary fix. It’s never enough or it never feels right, so we go back out on the hunt for the next hit, repeating patterns of behaviour or thinking that don’t serve us.”

The work is about discovering, nurturing, and excavating our well-being from within. In order to do that effectively, we must find a connection with an infinite power source, so we are content, no matter what happens in, to and around us externally.

Whatever the impetus, negative thoughts are fortunately reversible. In fact, according to the Mayo Clinic, turning pessimistic thoughts into positive ones might be easier than expected. While not complex, the process does require time, practice and patience—just as with establishing any new habit.

To continue with the car metaphor

Perhaps addressing negative thinking is akin to an automobile inspection, such that you need to identify all of the problematic mechanisms keeping you trapped by your negative thoughts. Whatever is malfunctioning needs to be proactively addressed and wholly resolved to ensure safe passage ahead. Overall, pinpointing destructive patterns from our past just may be the “ignition key” that’ll fire up your optimism engine and help you journey toward the life you desire and deserve.

Member Merilee Kern, MBA is an internationally-regarded brand strategist and analyst who reports on cultural shifts and trends as well as noteworthy industry change makers, movers, shakers and innovators across all categories, both B2C and B2B.  Merilee is Founder, Executive Editor and Producer of “The Luxe List” as well as Host of the  “Savvy Living” lifestyle TV show that airs in New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Miami, Atlanta and other major markets on CBS, FOX and LinkedIN www.LinkedIn.com/in/MerileeKern.

Read more : Positive thinking: Stop negative self-talk to reduce stress https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950

Jaime B Haas https://jaimebhaas.com

Sources:
Scimex Org https://www.scimex.org/newsfeed/pessimistic-outlook-on-life-linked-to-life-expectancy
https://www.bath.ac.uk/announcements/new-research-casts-doubt-on-claims-that-people-have-rose-tinted-glasses/
Pnas Org https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.1900712116
Mayo Clinic https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950

Read more articles like this

There are several organisations that provide support and education for people with mental illness and their families and carers throughout Australia.